Fast they said, it'll be good they said.
If you are following me on Instagram or Facebook you know that I started off April 2018 fasting. I went back and forth on whether or not I would do a blog post on how it has been but since I try to be as transparent on my blog as possible I decided I should.
What is Fasting?
Fasting is going without something (typically food amongst other things) for a period of time in an attempt to refocus and reconnect with God in a more direct way. For the Christian fasting during the time of not eating, prayer and scripture reading are increased. The idea is that while sacrificing my needs and desires and giving more time to God I will be able to hear from Him more clearly, gain insight, and become a more pure vessel for God.
Why Fast?
So, I decided to fast because I needed a lot of answers from God. A friend suggested that I fast and pray when we were talking about taking my LMSW test (I've been avoiding it due to anxiety) and I needed answers on how I needed to be moving as far as purchasing a car. So, I figured why not. I have had a lot going on this year already and needed clarity and peace about a lot of other things as well.
How Did It Go?
Well, I decided to fast for one week and the first three days were rough but great! I had so much peace and I actually was having days that I just felt really good! I hadn't felt like that in YEARS! I actually don't remember the last time I felt like that, if ever.
Then came days four and five...
On day three I tweeted about having peace and how great it felt and I was actually considering ending the fast early but felt convicted and decided to keep going. On day four things got a little weird and it was attached to one of the things I needed clarity on. I attributed it to the enemy trying to attack me and get me off focus, prayed every time it came up in my head and kept pushing as best as I could.
Then came day five...today...
I know we should keep these blog posts timeless but I have to explain just how this has worked for me.
It is currently 1:15pm while I am writing this and so far I have received threats from people, been accused of something I had no idea was happening, the treading on one of my tires came off while I was driving on the highway, had to get two tires replaced after I just got two last weekend, found out a friend of mine passed away. All of this was before 1230p.
I am trying my best to remain positive; understand that the enemy is trying to throw me off focus but that is not easy right now. If this stuff had happened day one or two I would probably be even more unglued than I am today but God and I have spent a lot of time together and I believe that is what is keeping me right now. The only thing.
Honestly, I am afraid that more things are going to continue happening today and throughout the rest of the weekend. I am scared that this won't be the end and it is just going to continue getting worse. I don't want to think that way but I'm just being transparent and honest.
I am not writing this post to discourage people from fasting but I do want to be real about what you may face and encourage you to keep going even when it gets difficult. In no way will I allow this to pull me away from God. I am determined to move closer to Him. This week has not been easy by any stretch of the imagination. First it was the fight against flesh (wanting to eat), then it was the fight against the spiritual (all these trials tempting me to go against God, be mad at God because I have been dedicating all this time and energy to Him then all this bad stuff happens). There's always a fight. Doing right by God is not going to be easy! The important part is how we handle these things that come against us.
