Superwoman: The Mental Health of the Black Woman
Being a Black woman is a full time JOB! There are so many different things that go into just managing life as a Black woman.
We have so many jobs and roles.
Many of us are juggling being a wife, mother, employee, entrepreneur, friend, sister, and so much more. If you're like me you may not have a husband and children but you hold many roles in church, you have a 9-5, you are working on building an empire, and those things alone without the expectations of others can be a lot. And just to be real in the Black community especially moms end up having to play the role of dad also. I am not going to turn this into a man bashing session. We love our Black men at Notes by Khia! I just have to be honest that things are much tougher on the mother when the father is not present.
It is difficult to express ourselves without ramifications
You've heard the phrase, "angry black woman". I HATE this label. Mostly, because it is often misused. As soon as a Black woman expresses herself in a manner that another does not deem as calm enough we get labeled as "angry". We struggle in advocating for ourselves, standing up for ourselves, simply trying to be heard and it be taken as something completely different. Now, I won't say that this is not true in any other cultures but I will say that it is not the same for other cultures. For us for whatever reason it is only received as anger.
Strong Black Woman Label
We are strong, there is no doubt about that. But, this also can be draining for us. Unfortunately, there are others waiting in the wings for us to fail. The moment we show any sign of weakness they feel like they have something over us. I'm not sure why but as I was putting this post together it made me think a lot about the work environment. Probably because as adults that is where we spend the majority of our time and have the most exposure to other cultures. Having the strong black woman label we are not allotted the space to really be vulnerable without being made to feel that we are not strong. We can be strong and vulnerable at the same time!
Work twice as hard
Black people as a whole have to work harder than anyone else to get the same pay or less, less recognition, and to be more quickly terminated. But, believe it or not black women have it even worse. Women are paid less, minorities are paid less and we fit into both categories. We work so hard and often it is diminished because of the couple of times that we spoke up for ourselves in a meeting in a room full of white men and got deemed as the angry black woman.
We are amazing
We endure a lot! But, I can't end on our struggles. I want to first tell you that you are amazing and what you endure is incredible. I also want to encourage you to reach out when you need assistance. All of these situations, and so many more, can really weigh heavy on your mental health if you don't take care of yourself. Whether that means therapy, expressing yourself to friends, getting a baby sitter for a day or a weekend....regardless of what has been instilled in us we do not have to do things all by ourselves. If you can't look in your circle and identify at least one person that you can go to and say, "I'm exhausted and I need a break" it's time to build a new circle. You got this sis! Being misunderstood by other cultures we have to do better at leaning on each other and allowing our sisters to lean on us. But that's a whole other blog post 😄 It is okay to be strong. It is okay to be vulnerable even if only among a trusted group of people. It is okay to ask for help. It is important to prioritize self-care time.
Share this with a superwoman that you know!