top of page

The Importance of Parents' Care for Children's Mental Health: A Closer Look

I'm always amazed by the negative responses that I get when I speak about adults needing to consider their children's mental health while they are parenting.

We talk about mommy and daddy issues openly - everyone knows their a thing. But somehow no parents feel they are responsible for this 🤔

I'm not sure what the obsession is with parents putting their kids down and feeling they can treat their kids any kind of way just because they're their kids has to be the most backwards and oddly accepted phenomenon I have ever heard.

"I can talk to them that way, that's my child"

"Don't tell me not to assault my child"

In what other relationship do you get to do that and that's okay?

And to do it to a child?

And people just accept that as okay and tell people who haven't birthed children they can't call out their toxic behavior 🤯

If your daughter told you that her boyfriend hit her because she didn't do what he said when he said it or because she forgot to do a chore what would your response be?

I want you for one week each time you say something to your child I want you to think about their partner speaking to them in the same tone with the same words that you just did and see how you feel about how you handled that.

Your child’s brain is actually impacted even more hearing your words than it ever will with a partner. Future partners just trigger the same trauma responses.

Do you know how painful it is to have to try to forget ignore your own parents voices just to be able to be successful and not let fear and self-doubt sabotage everything?! My own parents' voices i am FIGHTING every day just to be able to get through and tell myself I can do it, I am worth listening to, I am more than the way they think of me. My own f'kn parents!

It's been the hardest part of my healing journey simply because it breaks my heart again every time I think about it. Having breakdowns asking why they are like this and what I ever did to make them treat me the way they do.

Alot of emotionally immature families are very “protective” of how one another are treated on the outside but the inside is extremely toxic with family members often mirroring the same or similar behaviors that they supposedly disprove.

How do your kids learn what love looks like if you’re not the one showing them?

How do they learn how respect feels if you’re insistent that you don’t have to respect them because they are a child?

How do they even know how to love themselves?

How do they learn to forgive themselves of their mistakes if you never show real forgiveness and throw it back in their face every time ready to make the punishment even more punitive every time?

How do they learn that it is okay to take their time learning something and its okay to not be perfect if when they are struggling in school they get in trouble for it?

I know, it's hard. Because when you haven't experienced a different way this is all you know and it happens naturally because that is the most information your brain has for context when making parenting decisions, when responding to your child, etc.

You don't have to continue the same cycles.

Consider what life feels like for them by remembering how you felt at their age when your parent did what your instinct is suggesting.

So many of us are having to learn to re-parent ourself when we should have had that version of parents in the first place.

Sure, parenting is hard and so is changing your ways. I think your child is worth putting in a little effort to learn how to support them in a way that may feel harder at first but actually heals the whole family and in time makes things easier on everyone.

I will be re-opening my calendar again for family wellness support soon! Check out the brochure for what's to come here.

3 views0 comments


bottom of page