In Black Families we have developed this “you changed” narrative that has a negative connotation. It is one that brings a lot of fear to individuals when it comes to success, healing, etc. But understand that that is a tactic to keep others where they are. In order to elevate in anything change has to take place and there is serious work that comes along with that as well. As you learn and grow it becomes uncomfortable for others who are not doing the same but that is not your problem!
What I have experienced is that when I am down and drowning no one even notices most of the time. When I start setting boundaries now those same people are mad. But you have to understand that your healing is about YOU! And what you want YOUR life to look like. Would we like to see our entire families transformed? Absolutely! Then the Black community would REALLY be unstoppable! But you really can’t afford to halt your healing process just because others are uncomfortable.
You have the power of your own life and one of the hardest but most important things you will ever do is break the cycles that your family has been stuck in for so long; unlearning those things particularly that were taught covertly that you didn’t even realize were molding and shaping you.
So how do you change the narrative? How do you break free of this?
How do you do that?
You cannot heal something that you do not know exists and that may take having a therapist or mental health coach like myself to connect those dots for you.
Start your personal journey
I specify “personal” because it is no ones but yours. And you have to get to a point where you can stand up for yourself and say I am going to do this for me in a way that works for me and block out the other voices.
Choose You Daily
You have to make the decision DAILY that you are worth making a change for. Every single day. We are ever evolving. There is always something we can work on and improve. It won’t be easy every single day. Some days the most you can do is to choose to get rest or choose to get out of bed and that’s okay. Some days you will meditate and pray and use your singing bowl and journal and do all the things and that’s great too. Whatever you choose choosing you is MOST important!
I invite you to join me for Healing the Black Woman, a virtual event providing Black girls and women a safe space to heal, grow, express, and just be. Saturday, May 8, 2021. More Info
Learn more about the mental health coaching services Notes by Khia has to offer here.