• Khia

Boys will be...Held Responsible

Updated: Jun 16

"Boys will be boys"

I don't think there is another expression that annoys me more than this. I don't know who started this, but I hope we see the day when this changes.

So, why is this an issue? Well, these little boys grow up to be men that believe their behavior is always acceptable.

I don't know about you but I mostly hear "boys willl be boys" when it is behavior that impacts women negatively. It starts with boys and the way they play and as they get older it applies to him being flirty or handsy with girls or being able to "play the field" while girls are discouraged from dating multiple guys to explore their options as well. Well, allowing that while they are boys, grows them into men who think these things are okay and women are supposed to just adjust (i.e. ride or die syndrome).

Don't believe me? Watch this.

I have seen a couple of videos over the past couple of weeks about men cheating and I want you to watch them closely and listen to what is being said.

Video 1: The beginning of the video shows Jeff Johnson, who is known for providing relationship advice among other things, basically saying that he cheated because he married a "meanwhile chick". Derrick Jaxn, who was previously known for gaining a large female following by calling out men's toxic behaviors.

2022 Update: Derrick Jackson had a big "scandal" after this where he embarrassed his wife having her be the laughing stock of the internet as he held her hand on a video admitting that he cheated on her several times. Interesting, huh?

Before I weigh in on the video here is video 2: A clip from Steve Harvey's talk show.

In both videos I agree with the points that men never seem to take responsibility for their own actions. It is always what the woman did wrong or could have done differently. Now, Jeff kind of tried to admit his own fault but only for marrying her - never was it that he should have ended the relationship, it came off as a justification. Steve tried to clarify his words at the very end of his video but if you listen at 3:30 he says that if a woman is not giving him 3/3 things in a relationship he is going to cheat. Once again putting the blame on her.

If you know me you know that I love R&B singer Sevyn Streeter. Well, on her 2015 album, Shoulda Been There, Pt. 1 she features a lot of interludes that involve conversations amongst herself and her friends about different relationship topics. On one of the interludes she asks how many times a man should be forgiven for cheating and her male friend responds, "Infinite" very intently. Do you know how furious I was when I heard this?! But this is really what some men think. That they should be able to do whatever they want to a woman and she is supposed to continue forgiving him to prove that she loves him. And don't make him jump through any hoops to prove his love! "Didn't I say I was sorry?!&quo