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  • Writer's pictureKhia

Female Friendships: The positive perspective

I'm gonna be honest...this post was originally gonna be very negative. I was going to talk about how difficult it is to have sincere relationships with other females. We've all either heard it or said it...females are catty, messy, and do nothing but gossip and tear each other down. I'll even step out and say that it's true. I have had a hard time with female relationships because just when I thought I could confide in one I find out she spread what I said like gossip.  Or they have turned on me for whatever reason. In high school there was a girl that every single year we started out good, then she turned and started spreading rumors about me that weren't true to try to get everyone else to turn on me as well. It was ridiculous! I've found it really hard to trust other women because many times when you reach out for help you come out with a knife in your back.

But! Enough on that. I decided that instead of being negative about it I am going to use this post to celebrate the good friendships that I have and cherish with other women. Despite the women who have been not so great I have actually been blessed with a few that have been amazing. This doesn't mean that we haven't had our issues (most of these women I have actually known since elementary school so issues were bound to happen) but we have been able to overcome those different issues and they have been great enhancements in my life. All of the pictures included in this post are of my personal friends that I love and cherish. I may not speak specifically about every single one but them being included is my acknowledgment of them.

I'm not doing these in any particular order but I have to talk about my sisters first (they're kinda spoiled lol).

My sisters and I have not always gotten along. Surprise, surprise, right? LOL. If you saw us today you probably wouldn't guess it because we are so close now. People always told us that we would be best friends when we got older and we disputed them all the way. But look at us now. Inseparable. We still fight from time to time but I love how our bond has grown.

And, of course, cousins are our first friends!

I say cousins are our first friends and not our siblings because we don't always accept our siblings as friends first, lol. I am so grateful to have so many cousins. Sometimes I actually wish there were more of us. Cousins teach us how to be friends. Before I ever had a sleep over with any outside friends the sleepovers were with my cousins. Five of us (including my sisters) grew up together and were raised more like sisters and I can't wait for my sisters and I to start having kids so they can do the same.

Having sisters and cousins made me learn how to share everything...clothes, beds, bathroom time, toys, etc. Only one bathroom to share? No problem, move over and you better get over being uncomfortable.

Friendships with other women can be good for several reasons.

1. Someone that can relate

Men can't understand us like we understand each other. They don't understand our different emotions and why we move like we do. When we are stressing about things that we probably shouldn't stress about, when we are frustrated with our significant other. They just don't get that and can't relate in a way that another woman can. Our individual experiences may be different but generally our emotions are similar.

2. Support 

There is nothing like accomplishing something  and having your girls cheering you on! Something about it just pumps you up even more and give you so much confidence.

3. Girl Power

Is there anything that we can't do when we stick together?

We really run the world. I think this is part of the reason why trying to have really good female friendships is so frustrating to me. If we could just get through all the pettiness and just lift each other up we would all be so much better for it. This society is very much patriarchal but what if we just took over?! The scary part of that is that we don't always put aside the bickering and gossip and nastiness but we absolutely can.

4. Good Times

Some of my most memorable times have been when it was just the girls hanging out, up all night, watching movies, laughing, talking. With good girl friends you can be doing really absolutely nothing and still have a great time. I remember when Samaya, Nita, Anne, and I were in middle school we would just randomly go to wal-mart or something and have the best time! Hiding from Anne, talking to randoms in the mall, laughing and playing. Just enjoying life. Those moments are irreplaceable and definitely incomparable.

5. Someone to Confide In

As I mentioned in the beginning you can't confide in everyone but having another woman that you can confide in can really make those difficult times a little easier to bear.

6. Ride or Die 

Sometimes friendships change. That for me is always hard to deal with. We grow up, increase responsibilities, grow apart. However, having those certain friends that no matter how long you go without talking, you know they are always there is priceless.

If any of these women need anything I'm there. Doesn't matter when the last time we talked is, doesn't matter what disagreements we've had...if I can I will. I just hope they all know that. 

7. Prayer Partners

I can't even count how many times I've sent a quick text just asking them to pray with me about a situation and I knew I could trust them to do it. Sometimes you just need those extra prayers going up for you. And the same goes for them. I actually pray for my friends all the time. That God give them the desires of their heart, that He continue to lead and guide every step of our lives, and that whatever may be going on with them that I don't know about that they are able to get peace in that situation. 

8. Love 

I LOVE all of these women that I have put in this post! Sometimes as women we go through things that make us feel unloveable but having your girl to love you back when you need it the most makes a huge difference. Getting a random text that someone is thinking about you can really brighten a difficult day.

9. Growth

Watching all of us accomplish goals and reach new milestones makes me so happy. Weddings, babies, college graduations, promotions, creating flourishing businesses, etc. Especially since most of us have known each other since we were kids, like I said, I don't think we could have ever dreamed we would be as blessed as we are right now. 


For #10 add yours in the comments! What are your most cherished qualities in female friendships? Let's keep the positivity going.

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